100 men

John Wesley called for only 100. One Hundred men, to love only God with all their hearts, and to hate only sin with all of their hearts, “and together” he said, “we will shake the gates of hell and usher in the kingdom of heaven in one generation”.  Only one hundred? Is that all it takes?

That cry has haunted me. God how long has it been since John Wesley asked You for only 100? Is there anyone alive today with the faith for even 100 who would love You with every breath, do I pretend to have such faith?

My surgery went very well and I’ve spent the last few days trying to speed the recovery and have only exhausted myself.  Vertigo & Vicodin are a terrible mix.  SO! I am slowing down, sleeping, eating, and even found myself being carried into the house in the arms of my father after one particularly bad episode.

Tonight I lay in bed, foot propped up on a pillow and wrapped in ice, eyes closed against the room slowly spinning around me as I talked for hours with my dear friend Carole who is home from college for the summer.  We like to talk long, discussing “life stuff”, and have been making plans for doing a little bit of street ministry together over the next few months, and our conversation turned to “100 men”.  I can’t help but wonder God, what would happen if You found just one? What about five, just five who hated, only sin?

What if we could lift our eyes from the circumstances surrounding our days, and set our desire only on the One who is most beautiful among men? May is coming to an end, and I realized that for the last few years I have found myself at the end of spring, longing for Autumn to arrive and be over with. Feeling so overwhelmed with the emotions of my situations that I ached, not just for the current season to be over, but the next one as well.

Tonight I heard myself saying, “I want to think of June this year, I want to think of May 31st! Not just August!” I want to live tomorrow Abba. I want to love you more tomorrow. And what if, in my journey to loving You with each breath,  I wake up one day and find that I have become one of those “100 men” that John Wesley longed for? What if, in my journey to loving You with each breath, I bring many men with me, and they in turn carry me when I am weak?

Today, laid up in bed and slightly crazed on pain medicine, I have a hard time finding  in my chest the faith for a world wide revival, for the salvation of the street children in Romania, for the promise of  “no disease known to man” standing in Kansas City. But I do have the faith to love You with my next breath, and the next. O that when I fall asleep,  even then I would love You when I breathe.  O that You would find in me a heart that loves only You and all that You have made, a heart that hates nothing but sin

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