July 11, 2009

Lightning     Fireflies     Crickets     Ice Cream and Country music.

If I were home right now I’d be sitting on the roof outside my window (dear God, never let my mom read my blog. It terrified her that I used to climb out that window)  or high up in the big tree by the far pasture.

In my memories there are still horses in that pasture. Two chestnut Arabians, and one miniature pony, and in half an hour I would hear the sound of the train going through t.wn. It still surprises me that my babies are gone,

Cressie was my favorite because he was bigger, stronger and harder to control.  The first night we had him I spent nearly two hours high up on that back as he fought to go into the barn, and I fought to go on a ride. The result was the two of us going in one small circle for a LONG time. He put up a good fight, eventually trying to shake and rear me off but he finally gave in and five minutes later I took him in to eat. I think he loved me for fighting with him that night.

Tonight I sit on the front porch, the sound of cars ringing in my ears, far far away from the home that I love.  Joshua taught Hebrews 3 in bible study tonight, the Spirit of God was so strong in the room that my breath was shallow and I had to actively fight the tears that threatened to run free; we are looking to a city. Hoping in a King who’s rule will never end, and longing for the day when we can always be with Him. Josh said that David completely removed the veil from the temple, which makes Ps. 84 make SO much more sense. I understand that heart of that earthly king “just let me be a little bird sleeping at your feet” he never wanted to leave Your presence either.

Summertime always makes me think of home, old friends, and missions trips. Remembering all of the bonfires, all of the fundraisers, all of the outreaches, always being in another country over my birthday. I loved that part, loved wearing myself out all summer long. Back then I felt radical, and remember finding you in the extravagant places; on the plains of the Lakota Sioux reservation, out on the brick streets of Londonderry, in the side of a volcano in San Salvador. Now I search for you in the corner of a brightly lit room, trying to hide my tears from the camera’s & my friends running them.

It’s funny how different things look as time passes. How easy it would be to become dissilutioned with our own misunderstanding. I never in my worst dreams imagined myself in America at 22. But here I am loving You Jesus. I’m convinced there’s a journey ahead that even I couldn’t have dreamed up, and am so thankful for the time that You have given me to learn how to set my face towards You, to fix my eyes. You’re so faithful to keep on teaching me. You see everything, and still You love me.

Advertisements

One thought on “July 11, 2009

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s