11.49pm and my alarm goes off at 5am tomorrow.
This morning I awoke with a weepy heart, whispering on the inside ” Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This morning I wished for coffee with Jeremy to help me untangle my thoughts and emotions. This morning I cringed at the list of things needing my attention this week; emails, meetings, planning, research, note making, preparing for class, books to be read in class preparation, phone calls, and on and on. This morning I wondered again why the Lord did not have me go to DC in January. This morning I did not want to be a leader, and this morning I did NOT want to go to youth church.
But I got out of bed, grabbed coffee with my best friend, and went to service anyway. Walking down the hallway I hoped for a room full of the teenagers whose faces I have come to love, thinking that the sight would lift my spirits. What I saw was the sound guy, the worship team practicing and only five kids in the room, 3 of whom I had never seen before.
But I sat in the front so that I could think about Jesus and not the empty room. And more kids came despite the snow, the faithful teens who are the reason I show up for 6 hours worth of planning meetings every week. And I watched Zac, our anointed 16yr old worship leader break down crying while singing about the soon return of Jesus and in that moment it was worth it. Getting out of bed today was worth seeing the longing for Jesus coming out of that young man’s heart.
This morning peace came to me with tears as the small group of 30 worshiped the Lord in that little room. This morning I called my soul to remember my hope, He is coming. We’re not always going to live like this, at a distance from the One who we love. Hear me, the Lord IS pouring out His Spirit in a fresh and powerful way and that is real. But….
But one day we will see Him face to face. And He comes back to the song of His bride longing for Him to return. Today I saw longing in the face of our students, and all of my changed plans and the accompanying pain and questions were worth it. Tomorrow I may need another reminder, but today it was worth it.
Today the healthcare bill passed by a narrow, narrow vote. And tomorrow I submit myself again to the “weakness” of prayer, asking with the same fervor of today, not discouraged or dismayed. Today I still believe for the mercy of God. And tomorrow I still stand in faith for the salvation of the unborn.
And this is what I live for, a generation to be friends of Jesus. This is what I wake for, this is what I pray for. Revival for breakfast, revival for lunch, revival for dinner (Thanks Alyssa).
Thy kingdom come Lord, thy will be done on earth, even as it is in heaven.