The last week…. scratch that, the last few months ….. scratch that. The last few years have been a whirlwind 🙂
Today I hosted a yard/bake sale to raise funds for ATC scholarships. We’ve received so many emails from so many teens across the world in serious situations who are desperate for a touch from God and wanting to come to camp this summer. Our pain is that we can not afford to just “let” them all come, but we want to do whatever we can – thus the fundraiser.
It was thrown together last-minute, but MANY people brought items over in the last 24 hours, enough that my living room was PACKED! I was blessed and excited and ready to go for this morning…. until no one came to help.
There are broken places of my heart that I forget about until moments like that. Suddenly the old wound begins to ache with deep, consuming pain and it seems like nothing that I do will make it stop.
By the grace of the Lord I was able to get everything set up, and one of the new teenagers came for awhile, allowing me to leave and put up signs in the neighborhood. A few people came and some money was raised and I was exceedingly thankful. 5 hours later, hot and emotionally spent I began to pack up and an hour later looked at my yard and realized it was all done. But I did have 5 breakdowns today, complete with sobbing and phone calls to both of my parents.
Tonight I felt the real pain of living 3 hours away from my daddy, and having a car that has been broken for months, leaving me no way to get to him. And I felt the pain of living in a community where I don’t have a direct “pastor” over my life to turn to in season like the one I am currently fighting through.
Our A/C has been off for the last 2 weeks for one silly reason: the filter was filthy and we couldn’t find one that fit. The internet finally helped us to locate a store in the area that carried the right brand, but not having a car that works ….. well let’s just say that not having a car at your disposal makes the simplest of things very, very hard. This evening we bought the correct filters but had the same problem trying to get them in. The old furnace was put together in an odd way leaving a strange space that causes the filter to buckle and keeps it from sliding all the way in. After fighting to the point of tears I began to pray over the furnace. Yup, I’m one of those.
After 5 minutes of tearfully committing our house and the furnace to the Lord I saw a picture in my mind of an ‘L’ shaped ruler, long and skinny & made of metal and instantly knew where it was in the garage. That is nearly impossible because we can’t see where anything is in the garage. But I went upstairs and sure enough it was exactly where I’d seen it. Taking a deep breath I slid the tool inside the furnace, using it as a guide to keep the filter straight and you know what? It worked.
Circling the house to close all of the windows my heart began to sing Grace Kim’s song, “He will lead me to springs of living water, He will shepherd me.”
And it’s true. The spirit of the Living God literally dwells inside of me, and He wants to help me. He is a good counselor, a good friend, and a good Shepherd. He cares about me getting a filter into my furnace so that we can finally have a relief from the heat, and He cares about my daily life.
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Help wake each morning believing that Psalm 23 is true Papa.