Love me

Some years ago a young man whom I hardly knew looked at me with sincerity in his eyes and declared that no one would ever love me the way that he loved me. And even in that moment I knew that sincere as he may be, he was wrong.

Tonight I remember that night, and couldn’t help but think on the truth that there’s no one who can love me like Jesus.

Today was one of those tender days; when I found myself speaking too much of the things that I carry inside that are waiting for a time yet to come while longing to be right now. When the burden from yesterday is going to be fulfilled tomorrow the load is heavy today. Sometimes to speak of that burden reminds our hearts of the weight in the waiting and relief can only be found in washing in floods of tears.

Bawling at my kitchen table, pouring out the situations that rubbed like salt into an old would today via text message to my absent roommate I was swallowed up in the overwhelming fact that Jesus makes all things beautiful if I choose to love Him through them. Knowing that there is a Man who knows all of my needs and is fully able to satisfy them is pretty dang comforting.

He is a friend who understands, fully, every time, who always has my back, who is incapable of failing me. He is a provider who meets my every need, right when I need Him to. He always gives me exactly what I need for each situation, each conversation and each pain, even when it’s not what I THINK that I need. He is a Father who champions me even in my weakness.

He is a lover who never changes His mind, and let me tell you that THAT is a deep revelation every human is in need of; there is a love that will never run dry, never fail, and never change His mind. There is a love that will pursue unto death no matter your response to Him.

He is a Brother who let’s me explode or break down and gives to me nothing but strength in those moment, calling me back to the greatness of what He can see in me. He is a creator, the one who dreamed of each detail of my personality, emotional makeup, and my frame. And He is ecstatic about those details. He is so intentional in His love for me.

And if I can believe these things, if I can trust Him enough to set aside my shield and sword and allow my emotions to be laid bare before Him no matter where they might be, then I can trust Him enough to let Him love me like none other is even capable of loving. And if I can chose to receive His love and give love to Him back through my misunderstandings, questions, wounding and desires, then He will take each of those things and make them beautiful. In time I will look back and marvel at the perfect timing in his intricate love for me if I can choose to love through pain.

Tonight I sat on a friends living room floor, the girl in the rocker next to me was roaring with laughter, overwhelmed by the Joy of the Lord and declaring the truths of who He is and His love for her, commanding the friend across the room holding a guitar to sing about it and he sang from the heart of God,

I think about you all the time,

You’re always on My mind.

over and over and over again.

When in love it is nearly incapable to do the simplest of task without wishing your beloved where somehow involved. That’s how Yahweh feels about me.

And if that’s the case than in every situation both today and tomorrow, all that I want my heart to say is ‘Come, and love me Jesus, like no other man can love me.’

He’s going to work the rest out. And it’s going to be beautiful.


3 thoughts on “Love me

  1. Chris, thanks for your honesty and vulnerability to write this all up. I read your blog for it, to know a sister out there who puts her heart in His hands and… come what may… stands by Him. In the last year I’ve felt so pummeled (“all your waves and breakers crash over me”… gee thanks God) but I know that without my time at IHOP, more importantly without learning how to feel the heartbeat of my Creator and drawing on those past experiences, I would be in a very different place than I am now.

    How do you hold onto your thoughts long enough to commit them to paper/screen? Maybe this is just part of my valley-time, but lately when I have words for my soul, they slip away so fast.

    • Thanks E.Rae 🙂 I love you girl.

      I typically always have a notebook with me, and write a lot of thoughts down as they strike me. I sing a lot of thoughts in the car which leaves them imprinted on my brain, and I typically stew quite a bit before Blogging. Singing always provides an outlet for the emotions pent up in my heart, so I’ll grab my guitar, even for a few minutes and play until my heart unwinds enough to sing what I’m thinking.

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