Fire

United Pursuit music.

It always opens up my heart taking me to new places with the Lord & washing me with memories of the faithfulness of the different songs. Like ‘Fill me Up’. It was a good song to play on repeat in my room & to hum in the car but I can’t play it anymore without remembering the long night in the emergency room before Kat’s surgery, her pained voice whispering “sing me a song? that one that goes ‘love of God overflow’..” And the gentle heart of the Lord met us in that room as I sang.

I’ve been hearing it in my head all week. “You provide the Fire, I’ll provide the sacrifice”  & throughout the different activities of my day will suddenly stop and desperately whisper

Provide the Fire Lord.

I had a dream a few years ago & in it a man who MIGHT have been an angel looked at me with dark eyes and said “You still don’t have the fire, you’re not burning yet.” Instantly it was like my eyes were opened & I could see fire behind his eyes, & then it was like I could see through his skin. What I saw was like watching a breeze blow across the hottest part of a bonfire, the blue-red part, and it just rippled & waved. It was like he himself was a live coal, a burning flame of fire. And the stark contrast between that flame & the flesh that I saw when I looked at me was painful. That image , that contrast has stuck with me in my prayers, almost unlike any other.

I groaned in prayer then, ‘God give me your love, give to me Your passion, Your fire’ & never would have though that groan could, or would have reason to increase but it has. More than ever I feel the BURN of the lack & in my depths cry GOD GIVE ME YOUR LOVE, YOUR PASSION, YOUR FIRE.

And let all else fade away. And let my weakness fade away. And let my lack fade away. Oh to BURN with the heart of the Lord. To see as He see’s, to pray as He prays. To know how to respond to seasons, to calamity, to death, to man. To know to laugh when He laughs & weep when He weeps.

You provide the fire Lord, let me be the sacrifice.

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