Bridesmaids Dresses

Today looked a little something like this:

Actually let’s begin with yesterday. After dinner & a house church meeting at the Sawyers, Jeremy, Jenny & I had a long, sleepy drive back into F-burg. Somewhere mid drive Jen & I hit our second wind. Very hard. At the same time. It’s hard to describe the way my sister-in-law & I interact. Hard to describe & yet so enjoyable to experience. Anyway, last night’s  car ride exploded with mirth & though we should have parted ways to go to bed I found myself following them into the country drawn by the promised fire. Since the move I’ve had a couple of nights like this, staying up way too late in their kitchen gathered around the fireplace buried in laughter and bizarre conversation with the two of them & Chad Easter. Last night the boys tramped outside while I set out to start the fire. Unfortunately I didn’t know anything about their flue & thoroughly smoked out the kitchen before realizing my mistake. Blame my country roots, you don’t have to open the flue when the stars are your ceiling. Anyway it proved for much laughter & Jen & I had the kitchen windows open & a blazing inferno to greet the boys who eventually found their way inside. These have by far been my favorite nights and last night was no exception and left me pulling into my driveway somewhere around 4am.

Thus begins today, bed around 4.30 sleeping for 9 hours and then throwing myself into yet another Sunday of working on Kat’s wedding.

Wash the cloth that will be cut & sewn into circles & flowers & strips for garland.

Find out where Bridesmaids are in ordering their dresses.

Discover major issue with Bridesmaids dressed.

Spend the next 4 hours on the phone with David’s Bridal and Bridesmaids

Look for dress options for the Flower girls

Email Email Phone Call Email

Put cloth in the Dryer

Phone Call Email Dinner

Message the guy working on decorations

Email Phone Call

File Taxes

Update Sister

Call Kelsey. Done.

Half the Bridesmaids have dresses purchased and being shipped tomorrow. The other half…. well I’ll do my best. I keep reminding myself that in a month all of the work will pay off, Kat & Josh will be married, we will be ecstatic to stand with them on the day they enter into covenant with each other before God & hopefully that emotion will mean that no one even cares what dress they are wearing.

I have 3 phone calls & 4 emails needing to be done tomorrow, before my 9.30am meeting that leads into a full day of work, a 4pm set and 4 hours in the House of Prayer, and I’ll pull in the driveway around 9.30 pm and still need to fold the mountain of laundry that I did last week and still needing to unpack my suitcase from my trip from 2 weeks ago. These days are one long blur, B4L into Prayer furnace come home and work on wedding. Next day: JHOP into B4L come home and work on wedding. Alternate, repeat. Now that the end is in sight with the Bridesmaids dresses the wedding details will dramatically slow down and I’ll breathe a little in between. It’s hard to help your sister plan & walk out her wedding party from half way across the country. It’s still worth it, every single day, every single moment.

11.39 & I should have gone to bed 40 minutes ago. But the guitar in the corner is drawing me gently & I’ll not sleep if I don’t spend some time singing with the Lord. Working for Bound4Life for the last 3 months has been an incredible experience. I love this little team, love being so close to Jen & J again, love my days praying in the JHOP in DC, & love the little bit I’ve been able to experience of the community at the Prayer Furnace. Sleep ever alludes me, & almost a day does not go by without tears washing my homesick heart, still I am thankful for the leadership of the Lord. You’re such a good Shepherd Jesus.

And when or if I should ever marry, it will be done in a Forrest &  my bridesmaids will wear flannel & go barefoot. There will be no problem with money, venue, dresses or shoes. Amen.

Secret Wedding Weekend

No no no, I did not secretly get married over the weekend.

However I DID “secretly” spend a weekend in Kansas City recently with the sole purpose of helping my sister plan her wedding. And also to cry on my mom’s shoulder. And squeeze my dad’s neck. And hold my puppy…..and……

It was a painful 2 days. Not due to wedding planning, we actually accomplished a lot which is good since that was the goal. But painful for my little homesick heart that so dearly loves my family and friends. It’s not as if Virginia is torturing me, (then again this random snowstorm at the end of March is definitely a form of torture) it’s just that I really love my family & KC community. The passing of my Grandfather was monumental, and so terrible to walk out while being so far away and so far from the comfort of  familiarity. Even now as Spring is coming (as soon as the snow melts….) I ache every time I think of my flowerbeds, fruit trees, and tree swing. And I’ve definitely cried more than once in missing my many rose bushes.

But life is what it is and the journey does not have me walking on a road where comfort is found in familiarity or normalcy for that matter. This stretch of road is throwing me in searching for the heart of the Father, my Shepherd, my cover to lead me and love me and keep me. I was homesick before, but after a week in Colorado  helping the Bohlenders and a weekend with family…. ok I’m still homesick. It’s ok, it is natural, and it’s not going to kill me. These days are packed with adventure and acceleration in the plans that brought me so far away. Every morning comes too early, every evening ends too late, and just as before the fight is to keep my heart in the place of prayer whether I’m in the office or prayer room. I’m thankful for the door that the Lord invited me to step through and glad that I accepted. I’m thankful for the family that I am living with and the small band I am serving. I’m thankful for skype and txt messaging which keeps me connected to my family. I miss my sister so deeply but am thankful for the random nights (like tonight) when I can stay up till 2.45 in the morning laughing with my beloved brother Jeremy and his sweet wife, all the while wishing for Nathan and Kat to join us. I’m thankful for the road I’m on, though I can’t see where it leads. And I’m thankful that I am going home in 4 weeks for Kat’s wedding.

Ok enough being emotional! If you want to read Kat’s post about the Secret Wedding Weekend click here.

So many reasons to lose sleep

I find a different one each night. That’s probably not true actually. I circulate through a handful of reasons, but regardless….

Tonight I sit awake, alone in a dark basement with tear stained cheeks catching up on the life of one of my hero’s, a young woman I have never met and probably will not until Christ returns.

Katie Davis is a champion. She’s a hero because of her battle, one that few are willing to fight, one that she chooses everyday. Subscribe to her blog, support her financially and lend to her strength through your prayers.

Sarah’s story

I was sent an email today from Sarah Mae, sharing her story. It is easy to read and painfully similar to so…so… so many stories that I hear daily. But Sarah’s story also includes healing and forgiveness found through Christ. Here’s a snapshot;

The three months I was pregnant when I was 16 were probably the three hardest months of my life. I was very sick, I felt very alone, and I was being torn in directions I wasn’t prepared for. Everyone had a solution to my “problem,” but no one wanted to hear mine. I wanted to keep the baby…at first. I figured I could get married and start a family. After talking with others and them telling me how I would miss such important things if I had a baby, like prom, I thought it would be better if I gave the baby to someone who couldn’t have children. Nope, people didn’t like that idea either. During this time, my mom totally checked out of the situation. She almost became numb to the whole thing. She had her own demons to deal with and couldn’t handle mine. My dad, a wonderful father, had decided that abortion probably was the better choice. I don’t think he really believed that, but he had pressures of his own. One person in my life even wanted the baby for themselves, but I couldn’t bear that person raising my child. Did I mention that my grandmother, who I thought was my “best friend,” stopped talking to me during this time? She wouldn’t even look at me. The final straw was when my other grandmother came to visit me. She convinced me that having an abortion really would be the best decision. She spoke to me so kindly and she showed me love. I was desperate for any signs that I was lovable at that point, so I agreed right then and there to have an abortion.

You can read the rest of Sarah’s story by clicking here. Be sure and share your thoughts and thank her for speaking publicly on the healing found in Christ for those who have had an abortion.