a few thoughts

Today I was to go on an adventure with some friends, but woke with a pounding migraine which thoroughly canceled our plans.  The day was salvaged though, my friend Danika decided to bring an adventure to me. This included a fall bouquet, soup, sugar cookies and icing, and pumpkins to carve.

Check out the Wild Things on the plate!
Check out the Wild Things on the plate!
We carved this ourselves, laughing the WHOLE time
We carved this ourselves, laughing the WHOLE time
This is the sound he's making. My mother was proud.....ish.
This is the sound he's making. My mother was proud.....ish.

Two years ago Kyle blogged about Dating at IHOP after a conversation that I was privileged to witness between him and another good friend. You should read it, here’s the link. Here’s the follow up too :).

I have quite the interesting fast starting when I wake up. One of the leaders on the missions base had a powerful dream about the Media department needing to go on a specific fast to cleanse our hearts and minds. So we’re doing it in a very focused way for the next 5 days, while also including a Media fast that ends on the 31st. I plan to continue blogging during this time to share what the Lord is doing. Pray for revelation, fresh love for God and encounter on us as we seek Him!

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Missing Home

This morning I slept in and upon waking I ground some beans, turned on the tea pot and made a cup of french press. Usually I drink regular coffee, lighter roast brewed strong, but today I indulged in some flavored beans from a local coffee shop. 4 minutes later I stirred in a little organic sugar, a shot of Shatto cream, topped it off with a swirl of whipped cream and coupled my drink with some Entenmann’s donuts. Sitting down I thought, ‘wow this is an MJ Java sort of morning!’

The Fall of ’04 I worked in a specialty coffee shop called MJ Java. That was my “Fall of Failure” and the job fit the season mainly for one reason: The President of the company hated me. But that’s a story for another day. Anyway, we had a roaster who made the BEST flavored beans, and sold Entennman’s pastry’s so I often had a fab pastry with a cup of fab coffee during my morning break. I actually adored that job and fall seems to make me miss working early mornings, brewing coffee and making people smile.

Or maybe fall just makes me miss home. There is no season like Fall in the Loess Hills. Gorgeous greens, auburn, brilliant maroons and fiery gold and browns roll like waves across everything you see and every day steals your breathe away at least one with beauty. Kansas City just isn’t that pretty 🙂

This past weekend my brother, sister-in-law and two others spent a few days in Iowa, picking apples with my parents. My dad said, “Jeremy was walking up the hill with me and I didn’t have my glasses on. I turned around and saw some little person come bouncing around the corner of the house and said “Oh! Is that Chrissy!? Did Chrissy come home? But when she got closer I realized it was Jen and thought, ‘oh! I want Chrissy to come home!” I didn’t cry on the phone with him, but have shed some tears since. My parents really love me.

And it’s not just because I’m the youngest (though my sister might tell you differently ;). Living at home I really sought to honor and serve my parents. I didnt’ do it perfectly, but really tried to work hard and help them in whatever they were doing and they saw, and really appreciated it. There have been many a time, when feeling lonely, disconnected to community or the lifestyle of prayer, unappreciated or rejected when I have strongly considered moving back home and doing just that; serving my parents, working around the farm, mowing lawns, cutting weeds, planting, mending fences, doing laundry, dusting shelves. And walking out in the fields, talking to the Lord where no one but my faithful sidekick (the cat) can hear me. Singing at the top of my lungs on a hillside, or late at night in my tiny bedroom lit by too many candles. But each time I give in to the reminiscing and the desire to simply return to the love of my father’s house, a gentle whisper reminds me “that’s no longer your home”.

Yes Lord, walking in the way of Your laws, we wait for You; Your name, even Your memory are the desire of our hearts. My soul years for You in the night: in the morning my spirit longs for You Isaiah 26

Fall. As all the coverings slowly slip away, the barrenness of our souls is gently revealed, and the longings come unveiled. Where can we call home? When will we find the place where all of our defenses fall, fears slip away and we live purely from our hearts? Not until You come back Jesus. We have been ruined for a home we’ve never ever seen with our eyes, but felt the familiarness of a hundred times in our heats. We wait for You Lord. Your name, even Your memory are the desire of our hearts. When will You come and satisfy?

Fall

Last night I pulled my grumpy self into bed and flipped off the light only to have my phone promptly ring. Answering I hear the voice of one of my bro’s say “Get outside, you’re going for a drive with me”.  After lamenting that I was already in bed I did grab a sweatshirt and sulked outside, glaring as I climbed into the car. Undaunted by my bad attitude he promptly tells me to be thankful, “As soon as I get a girlfriend I can’t do this anymore.” I was thankful, that I didn’t have to go to bed grumpy, that the Lord sent me a friend, and that I was able to be out in the clean air and see the stars a little while driving. But someone tell me why getting a girlfriend means you can’t be friends with your girl – friends anymore, hhmmm?

The last carton of Icecream that I bought was Organic All Natural Alden’s Chocolate Chocolate Chip, and it was fantastic. I also just finished it which is unfortunate because I don’t get paid till Monday and one of my life goals is to eat ice cream everyday.

I’ve been actively resisting the coming of fall for different reasons. 1)I have really enjoyed this summer 2)I don’t like to be cold 3) I couldn’t remember liking fall. But then I realized that was because I couldn’t remember LAST fall which was strange only until I remembered that LAST fall we were in CA and didn’t experience a midwest fall. Once I pegged the emotion to the fact, I remembered that I DO in fact like fall. I like bonfires and tea, falling leaves and walks, cool evenings and stew and pies and holidays and people. And change. The ending of seasons and beginning of seasons.

Danika brought her espresso machine to my house this morning and I made pancakes. We fellowshipped over latte’s and communed with Holy Spirit as we talked about Him and wanting burning hearts. I want to fellowship with ALL of my friends and have my heart burn.

My guitar sounds better when other people play it. This is a travesty as I am the one who mostly plays it.

A friend of ours is moving to San Diego next week, and my heart goes with her in so many ways. The good news is that she is staying with us for all of THIS week, and we’ve decided to make videos….everyday. We already planned on making a video for annie about the song we sang at her going away party, and shot a Teaser last night.

Friendship revelation of the week: There are people in my life who I have been close to and had fellowship with, and now I am not, and that’s ok. It’s ok  to release  them to whatever else and whoever else may come into their lives.  On the other hand there are people around my life that I want to be friends with because I believe that there COULD be true fellowship, but I can’t make that happen either and each has to be walked out gently, with pure heart motives, and consideration.

Tomorrow morning we are going to the City market to buy blueberries. By morning I mean noon thirty because it’s 3.45 am and I am skyping Annie.

Last week  I bought a couch, and a lamp with vines and leaves on it. I now own a couch. That I bought. And a lamp that I prayed to find and Jesus gave it to me.  Thanks Jesus.