December Breezes

The month of December has become Synonymous for ‘Utter and Complete Change’ in my life and though we’re only eight days in, thus far 2012 has not proved to disappoint.

The Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace is in the middle of a SOZO conference right now, hosting John & Carol Arnott of the Toronto Airport Church, Don Potter, and Corey Russel as the main speakers, and it has been really, really good. Yesterday I lay on the floor under a presence as thick and heavy as a down blanket, and rose feeling as though I’d had a deep, long nap. Today I was torn up one side and down the other…but in a good way? Sentences like that leave me feeling as though Christians have the hardest time explaining themselves….and it’s true! This afternoon Don Potter candidly spoke of his life’s story. I sat in the front row, alternating between tears & laughter as the message seemed so directly for me in this season of my life, that I couldn’t help but respond with wonder.

Part of the tenderness in my heart may have had to do with the conversation I had directly before Don’s message. This December’s upcoming changes have brought about a considerable amount of reminiscing and contemplating of the last four years of my life. Specifically the last four, because 2008 (the year that I worked for TheCall) so dramatically set the stage for the following three, leading up to today. I had heard that a young lady who is a part of FPF had given her life to the Lord at the 2008 CallDC prayer gathering. Today I was able to tell her that I had worked behind the scene’s for that event, and grab a few minutes with her to hear the story.

She told me of the hard situations of that time of life which had cultivated such a desperation to escape that she leaped when her sister invited her to attend the PreCall conference & TheCall event. What got me was her moment of conversion, which came about during the LIFE siege  She said that she put the tape on her mouth and in the silence she began to think a whirlwind of thoughts – of how pained she was to have never known of the horror’s of abortion, how angry she was that no one had ever told her, and how she felt as though she’d wasted so much of her life on worthless things. By this time of the story tears were streaming down both of our faces and she choked out with a sob, “I just fell to my knees on the grass and I knew that I never wanted to waste another day, I wanted to give my life to Jesus and to the things that really matter.”

Over three years later she is an integral part of the the daily operations of the ministry that I serve with, the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. We cried on each other’s shoulders, both feeling such immense gratitude to the Lord for His hand on her life, and outwardly I marveled that He knew who she would be, what He would use her for in the future, how much she would be needed by FPF now, even on that day that He called her name and saved her. She pulled back, looked me in the face nodding, and said “and wisdom is justified by her children” motioning to me, and then to herself, finishing with a tearful “Thank You.”

The Lord is so kind to give us glimpses of the big picture, and I wonder if that’s a tiny taste of the joy of Heaven, when we finally see with clarity ALL that He was doing around and in and through us. I think we’ll find it to be so much more than we could ever ask for, or ever imagine.

Following that emotional interaction came Don’s message of absolute surrender to the will of the Lord. It’s no wonder my ears could hear it after such an introduction. Once brought back into the recording studio he struggled to play simple songs, walked out and heard an incredible recording that He amazingly admitted could not have been himself playing. At that admission the Lord responded “Don, your life as a musician is mediocre at best, but with Me, you are exceptional”.

With Him, YOU are exceptional. Doesn’t that give you the incentive to grab hold of the King and not let go?

And I through tear brimmed eyes I marveled. My life? Mediocre. Mediocre, at best! Oh but He makes the story exceptional. He does more than I see, more than I think, more than I DREAM. So much more than I know. And as cold winds blow transition right back into my life, I receive it with hands wide open to His will. Oh Lord, You do exceptional things with handfuls of dust.


The Next Great Awakening

Ever embarking on an adventure tonight I am writing notes for the first of a 7-session class on Revival History that I will be teaching for our Student Ministries 3.12 school. My thoughts on this class follow:

  1. I have never taught a class before (ie. setting curriculum, writing notes, making assignments).
  2. Truth be told I’m a Storyteller, and there’s almost no topic more on my mind these days so I’m not very worried about teaching.
  3. Preparing has given me reason to read and think about the moves of God throughout history like CRAZY these last few weeks and my soul feels nourished from the books I’m inhaling.
  4. Alyssa is going to lead worship for my class, and that’s going to be REAL good.

Tonight I am staying home from the Awakening to write and ensure that everything is done by tomorrow mid-morning with plenty of time to print. Now that I say that I remember that only 5 kids are signed up for my class. No matter, those five are worth it. I pray that a hunger for Jesus is sparked in their hearts that will never be put out.

The soundtrack to my study tonight is Jake Hamilton’s cd. Jake and his wife are apart of Refuge Prayer House in Rancho Cucamonga CA. His team led many of the prayer meetings during the 40 Days preparing for TheCall CAin 2008 and I love them. Why this music of choice for an evening of work? Check out the lyrics to his The Next Great Awakening.

I see you in the valley, Transferring death for life
I see an army coming, They all bear your light

I am not bound to reason, I live in violent love
This world can not define me, My hearts set above

For me to live it Christ, For me to die is gain
I am not shrinking back, I’ll never be the same

Four walls can not contain me, I know I’ve been possessed
I know that God is love, And there’s no failing love
So I am fearless

Come, love is overtaking me now.

This is the sound of a revolution.
This is the sound of a prophet’s cry.
This is the sound of a reformation.
This is the sound of a warrior bride.
This is the sound of a giants falling.
This is the sound that you can’t ignore.
This is the sound of a red moon rising.
This is the sound of an open door.

God, release the sound, Release the movement
I’m laying down everything

God, you promised nations, I want the nations
I’m not gonna settle, now
I, I hear the cry, I hear the longing
This is the sound of freedom

I stand in the gap, I stand here praying
For the next, Great Awakening

Revival’s not a method or a mission
Revival’s not program or a play
Revival is not a slogan
Revival is a man
His name is Jesus

TheCall Houston Pt.1

About 2 weeks ago I received a txt message from my friend T starting with “Do you want to go to Houston?…”

Let me say in my exhaustion….. that I have little to say 🙂 I always love roadtrips with Katrina (can you say – bottle rockets out the window?)  I am so honored to have run with theCall. Grateful to the Lord, to T and to Yale for the honor of helping in Houston. Blessed by Andy for hosting us for two days, and Gabriella for putting us up tonight where we get our own rooms and beds.

I slept about 3 hours last night, and worked a long hard day today. So “long hard” that when we finally ate (3pm dinner with T, the Engles, Martiers & Katz) I downed 3 dr.peppers and still had a hard time staying awake while driving through Houston tonight. Speaking of Houston I hate the interstate.

I finally met Levi Bethune, who’s photography I’ve admired for sometime. And got to be loved by the Lockett’s a little for a few days. This makes me think of Fredricksburg and I’m thankful for the clear distraction to steal the pain of my brother’s moving their this week. Levi, Matt, Kim – Hug Jeremy for me this week will you?

Have I ever mentioned that I love Steve Brown and Resource Group? He is STELLAR, and it’s always a blast to work with his talented, resourceful crew.

There are a few bad photographs to come later, and more thoughts. This Call event was quite different from any other’s I have done, but some dreams in my soul came to life today and my heart beats a little more real than before. Early tomorrow morning we hit the road for KC and maybe on Wednesday I’ll compose some tidbits about TheCall.

Twenty Two

For most of my life I have not liked to celebrate my birthday, but last summer I was SERIOUSLY looking forward to 22.

For one it was my Golden Birthday: 22 on the 22nd, and I praying that it would be a year of Isaiah 22.22,  ( Shawn Boltz has given a powerful prophecy related to Is.22.22 that may encourage many of your hearts.) Two, I had received several prophetic words that the next year was going to be a very important year for several reasons which had me pretty excited. And lastly, it’s just good to get through your twenties.

My birthday landed right in the middle of the 40 day fast leading up to TheCall DC. Katrina & I didn’t pause for celebration or feasting, instead choosing to press in on our fasting and prayers. My heart was FULL of expectancy of what God wanted to do at TheCall DC, TheCall California & in my life.

But right away, things did not go as planned 🙂 Both of TheCall’s were life-changing experiences, don’t get me wrong. But as I look back over this last year, the year I had so much excitement about in the natural & in my life in God, 22 may possibly have been the most confusing, painful & excruciatingly difficult year of my life. (Of course there is much detail wrapped up in that sentence that would be inappropriate to break open here) The funny thing is that as I think over the individual situations that come to mind when I say the last year has been “difficult”, I can identify God’s moving in each, &, every, one.

It’s amazing how He does that. How He truly teaches us through all things if we listen, how He leads us by the hand, though sometimes through muddy paths and on rocky cliffs. I honestly would not want to repeat most of what has happened in my life over the last year, yet I’m so so so grateful at the tenderness of Christ in the way that He carried me through. Jesus You are the kindest, most faithful man that I know.

Right now I could allow myself to step into a deeply emotional monologue regarding my year of “22” but Iiiiiiii’m just not going to. I can’t seem to blog romantically these days. Instead I will say that I have been listening to music lately, lots of different kinds of music. I have been spending much time alone, and also being intentional about building new friendships; reading books in the sunshine, staying up late, getting up late, exercising more & also eating more sugar. My nights have been spent outside on the porch rail watching the sky & talking to Jesus, writing,  eating ice cream with Nightwatch friends MUCH later than I should be awake, playing the guitar & burning sparklers.

I’m walking into a lot of closure related to the past year. It’s good and clean. And in a healthy way, I’m looking forward to 23, because it’s just good to get through your twenties, you know?

Today is the 22nd and my birthday is in a month. I have gleefully plugged my wish list, the tab to which you will find at the top of the page, on the social networking sites that I am unashamedly a part of. And maybe this year I’ll throw myself a party.

Probably not. But I’m glad to almost be 23.

Sent by God

A few weeks ago we had the privilege of visiting a small church in San Diego CA called Crosspointe Life   where Lou Engle preached. My heart will never cease to be moved when Lou preaches, and here is a snap shot from that message that stuck it to me good!

The problemis that we look at our lives through the eyes of victimization. Joseph was sent by God but not as an apostle, as a slave. Sold into slavery, just to be sold again, to prison. But from Prison, to the courtroom.

We are tested and get hurt, but if you can forgive and continue to love, than you will get promotion in the kingdom

It’s true, His wisdom is not like our wisdom – but I love Him for it.

19 Days to TheCall California – Jesus we plead Your blood over our sins and the sins of our Nation….

San Diego

A few days before leaving KC for TheCall DC the Lord gave my sister and I the opportunity to move to San Diego CA for two months of prayer, fasting, and preparation for TheCall California on November 1st. The invitation was a surprise and we were given little time to prepare but both of us felt strongly that this was a direct response to purposeful prayer for California and accepted with trembling hearts. 

I believe with everything in me that the fight going on in California right now is really a fight for the hearts of the People; to either turn their hearts to the wisdom of God or to the wisdom of man, and as the Mayor of San Fransisco so eloquently stated, “As California goes, so goes the Nation” This is our slogan as we come into San Diego, crying out for the people of God to turn to the Lord and in turn for them to cry out on behalf of their state!

The plane arrived in San Diego last Saturday carrying 3 of our team and we hit the ground running; our fourth flies in this Saturday morning. The days begin early with an hour of prayer, and end late with all of us tired, but everything we are doing is as intercession to the Lord and throughout the day we ask for wisdom, insight and strategies from Heaven. 

Pray for our protection, our heath, and our hearts as we mobilize here on the ground. I will update often!

37 Days to TheCall DC

The last two mornings i’ve woken up in significant pain. If the pain comes through the day it’s easier to manage/handle/cope with, but waking up to it is difficult. This morning I felt the holy spirit nudging me to get up anyway, even though I wanted to fall back asleep to make the headache go away I could not. It was as though someone got behind me and pushed me up and once I found myself sitting I thanked the Lord for the day and asked for Grace as I sleepily climbed from bed.

And I’m glad that He woke me! After a great time of prayer and a good conversation with my papa, kat and I headed to the office: 37 days to TheCall DC and sometimes the pressure makes me feel that we havent even begun the work. After a meeting the other day with Michelle (i’m her assistant) and Phil, (our logistics guy for DC) about lining up, scheduling and managing all of the volunteer’s needed for the Pastor’s & Leaders Conference, the Forerunner Youth Conference and the Children’s Equipping Conference the 2 days before TheCall, and for the actual day of TheCall – my head was more than just spinning. I had not yet considered the details of actually putting on a free event for around 500,000 people,while still praying for One Million, and left crying out for grace from God and Divine Wisdom.

Today I felt some of that Grace; a little bit more strength and vigor to press on and give my all. Today I also found that through a series of events, and a simple phone call that was made, the Lord may have used me as an unknowing instrument to connect us to a donor who is willing to give 100,000 Dollars!! What an incredible blessing!! We continue to pray for the 1.2 Million dollars needed to put on TheCallDC, but the story behind the connection with this donor is absolutely supernatural: thank you Lord!

We will press on and not be discouraged, we will pray for the Lord to build this house, that we would not labor in vain!!